Forgive To Live

Forgiveness is a difficult choice, but it opens up a new way to live where grace, faith, and peace have soil to put down roots and flourish in your soul.

Resentment is a much easier choice to make when we are hurt, slighted, disappointed, abused, and neglected – it’s natural, it flows from the wounding. But left unchecked, or when nourished, it takes over your life and chokes the roots of hope, love, and empathy.

To live with joy, we must forgive.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus sums up his teaching on life with God, on living in this earth as it really is with this declaration: “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” [Matthew 6.14, NIV]

To navigate our way with the Lord through a world full of darkness, evil people, and unintended consequences, if we refuse to forgive those who sin against us, we will be consumed by it.

When we hold on to bitterness, resentment, revenge, hatred, disappointment, envy, grudges – we separate ourselves from God and those around us. Unforgiveness infects us and affects how we relate to everyone else like a cancer, maybe undetected, but still putting out toxic tentacles that will reveal themselves in a devastating way. It leads to a kind sickness unto death in spirit, mind and body.

Christians believe that in Christ Jesus, God has already forgiven the sins of the world, including your sin. You are already forgiven, if you will believe it.

How do you know you believe it? When you live it.

We are motivated to forgive by many factors, but one of them is that we have already been given much grace, and we’ll know that we treasure that grace when we share it with others – who don’t deserve it, just as we didn’t deserve it.

How often should we forgive those who sin against us?

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” [Matthew 18.21-22, NIV]

Jesus says “77 times.” A lot. As much as needed.

Lewis Smedes in The Art of Forgiving (one of the best books out there on the matter) observes that the work of forgiveness includes: rediscovering the humanity of the person who hurt us; surrendering our right to get even; revising our feelings toward the person who hurt us. This is ongoing work, not a one-time occurrence.

If you’re in a place where you’re struggling to forgive yourself or others, and not sure how to do it, get this book. the art of forgiving smedes

According to Smedes, here are some statements on what forgiveness is NOT:

  • Forgiving someone who did us wrong does NOT mean that we tolerate the wrong he did.
  • Forgiving does NOT mean we want to forget what happened.
  • Forgiving does NOT mean we excuse the person who did it.
  • Forgiving does NOT mean we take the edge off the evil of what was done to us.
  • Forgiving does NOT mean we surrender our right to justice.
  • Forgiving does NOT mean we invite someone who hurt us once to hurt us again.

It took many years for me to forgive the drunken young mother who drove head on into my brother on the highway, killing him instantly. It was easy to hate and resent her. It was easy to forget about her. It was easier to focus on bringing good out of this tragedy. It was painful to learn how to forgive her.

Forgiveness is extraordinarily difficult if you don’t know how to do it. It’s a learned practice, a spiritual discipline, a toil of the soul, a labor of love.

A book that helped me with this specific tragedy was The Shack, by William Paul Young. What helped me most was the beautiful and compelling portrayal of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

the shack

To be forgiven by God is to experience an unfathomably deep, oceanic love. To forgive is to let that vast and beautiful love be grace-fully poured out on others through you.

Let’s learn to forgive.

Every day.

 

 

Pray For Peace, Then Do It

For a person of faith, prayer is at the center of life. Sometimes though it’s hard to know what to pray for, how to pray, or why to keep praying. Am I just praying to get what I want? Am I praying to avoid consequences?

Is my praying making a difference, is it worth it?

I ask those questions, maybe you do to. There’s always more to learn about prayer. These words by the Apostle Paul are instructive to me, especially in light of these politically charged and religiously polarizing times:

I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. [1Timothy 2:1-4, NIV]

Here’s a couple of observations on the role prayer plays in living in peace and making a difference.

First, St. Paul urges Timothy and the Christians in Ephesus to pray “for all people.” No discrimination there! Ask God to bless, give thanks for, request help on behalf of everyone – friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, strangers and enemies.

Second, the apostle makes a special point to tell Christians to pray and give thanks “for kings and all those in authority.” This is a radical idea.

In Paul’s day, wicked Emperor Nero ruled the Roman world, and the city of Ephesus where Timothy pastored was the religious home to the influential Temple of Artemis, one of the Seven Wonders of the World. Also, the church of Ephesus was being taken over by divisive, envious leaders.

Third: notice one of the reasons Paul gives for this instruction – “so that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.”

There is much to unpack here, but I’ll focus on this: in light of the grievances and anger we might have towards unjust or unholy authorities, we can be consumed by grief or also fill our hearts with gratitude.

If we want a godly peace to prevail in our spirit, when we pray it can’t just be for revenge, it also must be for blessing our enemies. That’s what God the Savior does.

All that God created is good, and is to be used for good. God wants to save people from their ungood sins, from their pride and greed, their anger and envy.

And God wants truth to prevail, for lies to be exposed, for communities to be attuned to ultimate reality and live with a courage that furthers the good flourishing for all.

When you live in a place where injustice seems to prevail, where violence is constant, where the powerful enslave or crush the weak and ill, and you try to resist it, to pray and make a difference, to not be consumed by the culture of death – what can you do?

This is what marked the struggles of the early church, as they strove to set themselves apart.

Like us, they had to keep their eyes on Christ Jesus, who grew up a day laborer in oppressed Galilee, who offered up his life as a ransom for sinners and was resurrected on the third day, commanding God’s people to proclaim forgiveness of sins for all people.

That’s a remarkable God and an inspiring calling.

When you pray for the kings of the world, presidents of countries and companies, senators and city mayors, and anyone else who wields power and influence in your community – pray for their salvation from sin and give thanks for their spirit.

Keep your eyes on the Lord who has immense patience with everyone, who wants all the world to be healed from violence more than we do.

Pray and give thanks for all, even for kings and authorities that further injustice.

Keep your eyes on the Lord who strives to make peace with all, who wants all to be saved and know the truth.

Don’t give up on peace, on living in godliness and holiness.

Pray for peace, then do it.

Renew Their Strength

A YMCA devotion for members and friends. When we are weary, we can renew our strength in spirit, mind and body with hope.

Maybe it’s just me, but I sense a lot of weariness and wariness around me. Definitely within me, but also in a lot of others I see. The political realities unfolding before us don’t inspire hope. The economic situation for many is exhausting. And the state of our communities is overwhelmed by illness, addictions, overdoses, and isolation.

When I get in this weary and wary place, I make a point to pray, even though sometimes I don’t know what to say or ask for. Mostly because I wonder what God is doing, and I am confused as to why things seem to be getting harder, and I lack confidence that the Lord hears my prayers.

I’m not alone in this. There’s a beautiful poem from the prophet Isaiah in the Hebrew Scriptures, writing a sermon to the people of ancient Israel a few hundred years before Christ. There was much poverty and political oppression among his people, a soaring divide between the rich and the poor, and a lot of idolatry and adultery going around.

Isaiah sensed that people were wondering if God knew what was going on, if God was listening to them, and if God cared.

The poem is a response, but not in the way people expected. Instead of merely assuring them that everything will be okay, he points them to the character of God and invites them to respond to the Lord with renewed trust so that they can do something about their problems with hope. Not hope in “optimism” or “positive thinking”, but hope in God who is with them and working through them, in spirit, mind, body and community.

This is one of my favorite pieces of Scripture:

Why do you complain, Jacob?
    Why do you say, Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord;
    my cause is disregarded by my God”?
Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
    and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

When Christ Jesus ascended into the heavens forty days after his resurrection, he reminded those who trusted in him that he would be with them always, “unto the end of the age” as they proclaimed and lived out his message of “good news.” On the day of Pentecost, ten days later, the Spirit of the Lord descended upon the believers, and sent them out into the world filled with faith, hope, love, and courage.

To trust in the Lord is to trust in his character and his promises. You begin to imitate those you trust, and that is the opportunity Jesus gives us – to have confidence in God that we can become like him: loyal, faithful, sacrificial, generous, persistent, enduring, courageous, focused, patient, loving, and joyful.

And so we pray, meditate, reflect, be silent, and become aware of the ways the God not just with us, but transforming us. This will be the way that we can then enter into the struggle of those around us and renew their strength too.

As you begin this day, make this adaptation of Isaiah’s poem your prayer:

Why do I complain, [insert name]?
   Why do I say, [insert name],
“My way is hidden from the Lord;
    my cause is disregarded by my God”?
Don’t I know?
   Haven’t I heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
    and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak.
I have grown tired and weary,
   my spirit is about to stumble and fall;
Lord, help me to put my hope in you,
   renew my strength,
that my soul may soar on wings like eagles;
   that my courage can run and not grow weary,
   that my faith can walk and not be faint.

Amen.