Reclaim Your Kitchen Table

Most of my favorite memories growing up occurred around our kitchen table. I’m deeply thankful for the fun we had most evenings during our family dinner. We enjoyed hearing how the day went for the six of us (sometimes seven or eight…). As we got older, my brothers would time the punchline to their jokes just as I slurped some soup into my mouth. Supper got disgusting at times….

It’s almost become an epidemic – our lives getting so busy, our budgets (and pants…) getting so tight, our homes getting so hurried that we don’t make time for dinner each night for family and friends. It probably sounds quaint, old-fashioned, and plainly unrealistic for many people. But: what ifwhat if you reclaimed your kitchen table….

Studies show that families that put in the work to rearrange schedules in order to prepare dinner together around five nights a week tend to build more resilience and happiness into their lives. There is something powerful about supper with others at home. When it’s with people who care for each other, a meal together is healing, uniting, almost sacred. It’s a form of what we call communion.

We see this in a story of Jesus and Levi the tax-collector, from the gospel according to Mark. A little background first: In the Ancient Near East of the Mediterranean world, to share a meal was to welcome them as ones you trust, it conferred dignity and signified they were under your protection. It was a sacred duty to extend hospitality to family, friends, and especially strangers. Hospitality around the table was also the key to turning enemies into loved ones.

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In this story, Jesus saw a fellow Jew named Levi overseeing a Roman Imperial tax collection booth. This made Levi a traitor in the eyes of his neighbors. But Jesus loves surprises, and he loves to turn enemies into friends, so he invites Levi to “Follow me.” What do you know, but “Levi got up and followed him.”

The next line in the story is fascinating: “While Jesus was having dinner at Levi’s house, many tax collectors and sinners were eating with him and his disciples, for there were many who followed him.” Levi threw a dinner of thankfulness to Jesus, one that he invited his friends to. This is what we call communion – people coming together with Jesus. Or you can call it Eucharist, because it is marked by joy and gratitude.

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The reconciled companionship that began to emerge between Jesus and the sinners drew a protest from the purity-focused Pharisees. They saw how significant this table-sharing was, and the transformation that was occurring. They asked Jesus’ disciples, “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?” Jesus’ reply? “It’s not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Salvation through suppertime!

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Reclaim your kitchen table. It’s okay to rework your schedule to do dinner with friends. You have permission to not isolate yourself because of your busyness. The slowing down that comes from cutting up veggies or stirring up the salad can make space for being present with each other. It’s not about the food! A simple dinner prepared with love sets the tone for the hoped-for conversation. This is why holiday meals come loaded with expectations, and are rife with disappointments. We hope to have once or twice a year what we don’t practice regularly on any given week.

Levi opened up his table to Jesus as a way to say thanks. Jesus joined Levi at his table as a way for communion to flourish. What are the ways you could reclaim gratitude around your kitchen table? What if you could reclaim communion in your home through regular dinner times?

What keeps you from simple meals at the kitchen table with family and friends? What would it take to make it a regular part of your life? What doubts do you have about whether it would make a difference in your life? What do you have to lose by trying it? What do you have to gain?

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Here’s a fun example from “Meet the Parents” of dinner bringing people together…

When Compassion Complicates Your Life

In my six months with the YMCA, and in my twenty years as a pastor, I’ve had many people come to me needing compassion. And it’s always complicated my life. I recently had a young man come up to our fifth floor suite looking for money to alleviate his hunger. Not too long ago I took a phone call from a woman needing money for temporary lodging. My compassionate response has complicated my life.

irresistable_revolution_zondervan_largeA Christian minister among the poor of Philadelphia, Shane Claiborne, once remarked that when the poor ask us for help, we are obligated to do something- but we are not always obligated to give them what they ask for.

Sometimes we can’t give what they ask for, sometimes we shouldn’t. But I think the Christian response is always to give them compassion. And that complicates our life. Sometimes it would be easier to just give them what they ask for – $20 for food, $200 for a weeks worth of lodging and some bus fare, but more for convenience than compassion.

Jesus is known for his compassion for the poor and diseased, the disabled and possessed. Already, in the stories from the gospel according to Mark we’ve seen how the healing ministry of Jesus complicates his life.

In the last story of the first chapter, a leper comes up to Jesus, gets down on his knees and pleads with Jesus, “If you are willing, you can make me clean.” The older English translations read that Jesus, filled with compassion, “reached out his hand and touched the man.” Newer English translations read that Jesus was indignant. Either way, Jesus responds by touching an untouchable, and declares “I am willing; be clean!”

jesus-heals-leperEven though Jesus sent him away with a strong warning to not tell anyone about the healing, even though Jesus sent him with clear instructions to go to the priest in order to offer the proper sacrifices, despite all that – the healed man ran around town blabbing his mouth about all Jesus had done for him.

What’s so bad about that, you ask? Well, it resulted in Jesus getting ganged up on by crowds wanting healed, he couldn’t hang out in town, and he ended up escaping into the wilderness to rest and pray. But, even out there in the forlorn desert the people sought him out. Compassion complicates.

Jesus came to proclaim the gospel in word and deed – he had a message he preached about the coming of the kingdom of God – and he had a message he demonstrated through healing and feasting with outcasts. Sometimes the people who were healed complicated Jesus’ work to preach; sometimes Jesus’ work of preaching complicated his work of healing.

Because his work was full of compassion, Jesus’ life got complicated: he missed meals and ended up homeless, he was misunderstood and slandered, he was taken advantage of and betrayed.

But what’s the alternative for Jesus – for us? If we withhold our compassion, we might make our life more convenient, we might keep greater control over our schedule and finances, we might be able to keep our hands cleaner…. But can we be Jesus if we withhold compassion?

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Imagine how your home, your workplace, your church, your neighborhood might be slowly transformed if you and some family and friends became more open to the needs you see around you and became more willing to offer compassion to outcasts in the way of Jesus?

What if the prayerful courage to be present and compassionate prevailed in your life over the hesitancy to get involved and the fear of complicating an already complicated life?

And what if the compassion that complicates your life is part of God’s healing work in your own soul? It may be that the messiness of compassion becomes a moment to trust God more with your schedule, your budget, your safety, your life.

mother-teresaYes, compassion may complicate your life. But it is how Jesus heals.

Who in your life are you resisting giving compassion to? Why?

Consider submitting it to the Lord, and be attentive to what he would have you do next – to how he would have us offer compassion in the way of Jesus.

What’s Your Why?

Sometimes success can be your worst enemy.

Success, getting what you want, can be good, especially when it results in the flourishing of those connected to your life. But success can be toxic when it comes at the expense of those around you. Success becomes your enemy when you hold on to it, become afraid that you can’t maximize it, or exceed it, or live up to it in the long term.

Success – good and bad – reveals your “why.” Do you ever stop to reflect on what is your why? Do you take time to contemplate on what success is for you? Where does your why come from? Is your why worth it? Who wins if your why is successful?

We see in the gospel of Jesus (according to the disciple Mark) that Jesus was crystal clear about his why, about what success meant for him and those connected to him. For Jesus, success was traveling to Israelite villages preaching the good news of the arrival of God’s kingdom while driving out demons and healing the sick. “That is why I have come,” Jesus stated, to his disciples.

the-gospel-of-markIt’s interesting that following a long night of driving out demons and healing those with various diseases in Capernaum, while still hungry and exhausted, he slipped out of the house while everyone was still asleep. “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” Success has it’s draining cost and distracting temptations. You can probably relate.

Following the mass-healing in Capernaum, Simon sought out an exhausted Jesus, excitedly telling him that “everyone is looking for you!” The implication being: we’re successful, let’s set up shop here and make the most of it. This was the kingdom breaking in, let’s set up the kingdom right here, right now!

But that is not why Jesus came to preach and heal. He came to announce the arrival, to embody the arrival, to evoke allegiance to the arrival. He didn’t come to establish the kingdom according to the imagination of everyone else. Jesus knew his why, and he wasn’t going to let others hijack it, nor let success derail it.

Have you ever wondered, what did Jesus pray when he got away to a solitary place? As a Jewish male, in first century Israel, he would have likely prayed daily the Shema, probably the Amidah, many of the Psalms (like 100, 145-150), and I wouldn’t be surprised if Jesus included the Lord’s Prayer.

jesus-prayer8Sometimes we think prayer is always asking God for stuff. For safety, for security, for success. But for Jesus, prayer was about presence. It is about being present with his Father, the one who revealed his why to him, who sent him with his why to embody the healing gospel to the children of Israel.

Prayer can be that for us; a time and a place where we dwell with the Lord in silence, with his Scriptures. In that way, we will discern our why, we can gain clarity on the why we are sent with, and how to stay connected to that why when success tempts us.

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Feeling frustrated that you haven’t achieved success yet? Don’t make success your idol. Let success flow out of your why, and let your why flow out of your prayers. A why that emerges from dwelling on the Lord’s Prayer, or Psalm 145 would be a powerful why in the world.

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Sensing that success might be one of your enemies? Becoming afraid that your past success can’t be repeated or exceeded? Reconnect with your why, with why Jesus has sent you to this place and time. Start your mornings with him. Be reminded of why you were sent here: for the flourishing of all.

Let me know if you want to learn how to pray as a way to learn your why and join Jesus in his gospel-work in the world.