When You Being You Makes Things Worse…

They say that most people’s weaknesses are their strengths used to excess. Someone who is loyal can also be stubborn, someone who is patient is a procrastinator, someone who is kind is taken advantage of. Sometimes our weaknesses are not the problems, but rather our strengths.

There are times when you are being you, and you being you is the best thing for the people around you and the situations you are in. And then all of a sudden, you being you makes things worse! One minute they love your new ideas, the next they get annoyed because you’re always changing stuff. One day they love that you are chatty and friendly, the next they are frustrated that there’s no peace and quiet in the office. One week they like it because you are productive and get stuff done, the next week they’re exhausted and grimace when you rally them to get more stuff done.

Jesus was sometimes his own worst enemy. In the gospel of Mark  we read a story where Jesus has done too much good, and now things are falling apart. The emerging plot to kill Jesus (because of his provocative healings) by the Pharisees and King Herod’s men caused Jesus to flee the village and head to the lake to cool off. But, the crowds found him there, overwhelmed him, driving Jesus into a boat to avoid getting crushed. So many people had been healed, and so many more still needed it.

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Imagine the chaos, the cries for help, the pleading and begging. And, on top of that, there were plenty of people with impure spirits falling down on the ground screaming out to Jesus in deranged voices, “You are the Son of God!” And Jesus is commanding them to shut up. Jesus being Jesus is seeming to make things worse.

Jesus can relate to your moments of self-frustration – when you being you seems to work for people one minute, and then the next you’re still being the same you but making things worse. Like Jesus, we are probably right that we need to pull away for a bit, figure out what’s going on, and what we’re doing to make things worse. But Jesus pulled away in order to get back into the fray. He withdrew in weakness to return strengthened.

Have you been in a place where you being you is making things worse? Sometimes personal success is our worst enemy. Sometimes lack of self-awareness harms us. Sometimes denial of our past hurts undermines the use of our strengths. Sometimes refusing to forgive turns our strengths into weaknesses. Sometimes lack of boundaries makes things worse.

We think of Jesus always being perfect, but he was fully human. Christmas reminds us of the radical way God wants to be present to people – he becomes like one of us so that we may become like him. What’s it mean to be like God? To love. Which is why Jesus always teaches us to forgive, because love covers over a multitude of wrongs. When you being you makes things worse, repent and forgive. When things get crazy, get away in order to come back stronger in love.

place-of-rest-2What do you need to do to withdraw, like Jesus? Be home alone? Get outdoors for a brisk walk? Go out to eat with a trusted friend? Journal? Sing? Cry? Play? Sleep? Pray? Count your blessings? Go to church? Volunteer in your community? Get counseling? Read a good book?

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Take a break so that you can take stock of what you’re doing to make it worse and recalibrate your strengths so that you can be the loving, healing, stronger person God is helping you become.

When You Can’t Believe, Let Your Friends Faith Carry You

Let’s face it, believing in God isn’t always easy. Especially when you or those you love are in pain, and there are a mounting pile of unanswered prayers. It doesn’t help that we can’t see, hear, or hold onto God either.

It’s unique really, in our age, to be in a position to doubt the divine like we do. In the 7,000+ years of recorded history, humanity has been deeply religious, our lives oriented around the will and whims of the heavenly beings. Only in the past few hundred years have we been able to construct a reality where it’s plausible to doubt the existence or the effect of gods/God. It’s harder to believe in God then it used to be.

When my brother Matt was killed in by a drunk driver, you can probably imagine how angry at God I became for letting this happen. This was back in 2001, right after Christmas, in my late 20’s. I’d been a pastor for a few years, grown up in the church my dad pastored, and had gone to Christian school’s most of my life. For all my knowledge and love of God, I was decimated by this death. What kind of God lets this stuff happen? It’s hard to believe in God when life takes excruciating turns.

Looking back fifteen years later, I can see that at times it was my friends faith in God that carried me through those dark days, weeks, months, years. Sometimes you need your family and friends to believe for you. Sometimes the only way towards healing and hope is for your friends to hold on to faith on your behalf for awhile.

We see this in a New Testament story, retold by Mark in his gospel about Jesus Christ. paralytic-lowered-to-jesusIn this story a paralyzed man is lowered into Jesus’ presence through a hole cut in the roof; it is the attempt of friends to get their friend healed amidst the crowds amassed around the house where Christ is preaching. An astonished Jesus, wiping dust off his face and standing up as the paralyzed man comes down, looks up at the friends and sees their faith. He remarks, “Son, your sins are forgiven.” And then, to make a short story shorter, Jesus heals him.

Isn’t that fascinating? It’s the faith of the friends who carried the paralyzed man that made this moment possible. Maybe the paralyzed man protested the whole way there, pointing out the futility of their efforts, doubting God and depressed about his situation. But his friends didn’t give up on him. Or Jesus.

Are you feeling paralyzed? Are you doubting God’s existence, his goodness, his relevance? Are you wondering if your sins are forgivable? Are you wounded from the sins done to you? It may be that you need to let loving friends come around and carry you for awhile to get to a place of forgiveness and healing.

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Maybe you’re in a dark place, kind of like where I was after my brother was killed, and you’re not sure what to do next, not sure what to believe anymore. If you have any strength left to pray, pray for God to send you a friend who can believe for you, and help you find healing and hope again. And if you don’t know if you can pray that prayer, let me know if it’s okay if I pray it for you.

I don’t know what’s next for you, but following the forgiveness and healing of the paralyzed man, the people were amazed and praised God, saying “We have never seen anything like this!” It reminds me of the old hymn Amazing Grace“Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me; I once was lost, but now am found, was blind, but now I see.” May amazing grace find you and the faith of your friends carry you – not because you believe in it or deserve it, but because you are loved.

And if you’re the friend with faith, stay faithful.

Feeling Unlucky Lately?

Listening to NPR on my morning commute to the office, I heard a brief news story about the founder of Instagram, who quipped about how luck is what drives the world. He mused that maybe life was about recognizing luck when it was around you, and acting on it. Something like that.

Then I pulled into my parking spot and realized I had forgot my laptop at home. So much for feeling lucky this Monday morning!

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In the gospel story this morning, we read about Jesus heading to the home of his disciples Simon and Andrew for dinner and rest. Seeing as Jesus was homeless, he was always grateful for the hospitality of others. When he arrived at their home, he was told that Simon’s mother in law was ill in bed with a fever.

Fortunately for her, this was her lucky day! Jesus went up to her, sat at her bedside, gently took her hands, prayed over her with great love, and then helped her up to her feet. Now it was Jesus’ lucky day – she was ready to throw a huge feast in gratitude for his healing touch.

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But word got out, and Jesus never got his dinner – so much for luck. The village of Capernaum found out that Jesus was there at Peter’s house, and as the sun set over the Sea of Galilee everyone brought anyone they knew who was sick, diseased and demon-possessed.

It was lucky for the townspeople that Jesus was there and able to heal, but unlucky for Peter’s household, as their whole evening was disrupted. Sure, the whole town got healed, but what about their dinner!

What is luck? I don’t know. But for Jesus, every day, every moment, was an opportunity to be good news. Luck is usually something good that happens to us, maybe unexpected, but also hoped for. But Jesus is more than just lucky, and way more than a bringer of luck. He comes to bless. On purpose. With a plan. For the flourishing of all.

You feeling lucky? Unlucky? Ready to ground your Monday mornings and future hopes on something more than luck? For Christians, everything good that happens ought to be received as a gift, as a blessing.

We don’t get “lucky” with God. He is loyal to us more than we can imagine! He gives sunshine and rain on the righteous and the wicked – which is another way of saying that he gives us goodness even when we don’t deserve it. That’s more than luck, that’s love.

Is everything bad that happens to you a curse, a sign of being unlucky? Or, is God at work in everything, and bad things that happen to us might actually be a doorway to some of the greatest blessings we’ve ever received? Maybe, with Jesus, even the worst things that happen to us, even our most unlucky Mondays, could be the gateway to great opportunities to bless, love, and cherish?

You don’t have to wander aimlessly through life, hoping for a lucky break. Join a Jesus-community that will help you see what God is doing around us, and what he is inviting you to do. Break bread with a close friend, share a cup over prayer, and together submit your grief to the Lord.

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Next time you feel unlucky, maybe even cursed – take a moment to pause and say thanks – this may be your moment to stop and get ready for a moment to bless someone unexpectedly. Sometimes our own healing comes from blessing others amidst your pain.

Life is more than luck, it’s a gift. May you take it all as a blessing, even if at first it feels like you’re unlucky, late, and forgetting your laptop.