Pain, Truth, Lament, Hope

Friendship saves lives. Overcome loneliness, pain and injustice with others. Reach out in a loving, courageous, caring way. A YMCA devotion for members and friends.

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” Jesus of Nazareth (John 13.34, NIV)

There is more hunger in the world for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.“- Mother Teresa

This past Sunday morning I read a news article on the opioid epidemic, with the headline: Why Are Americans In So Much Pain? It noted that our nation makes up only 5% of the global population, but we consume over 30% of the global prescription of opioids.

It’s a fascinating article, but one comment that caught my eye was this: “In our society, pain has a negative connotation and can cause people to think that they cannot do things or cannot enjoy life. By accepting pain as a normal and common physical occurrence, we can have more realistic expectations for pain control.”

It got me reflecting on why we avoid pain, why we want to rid ourselves of pain so quickly, and why we equate pain with failure. It also caused me to do some difficult self-reflection on my attitudes and reactions to pain.

“Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat. The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved. “- Mother Teresa

The article on opioid addiction reminded me of an article I had read a few months ago on the loneliness epidemic in America, and how it deeply intersects with overdoses and death. It’s not just physical pains of old age or diseases we’re trying to numb, but the pain of being alone, the suffering that comes from fractured friendships, abuse and neglect.

The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted. It’s to be nobody to anybody.” – Mother Teresa

Reading further about the deadly consequences of opioids, it turns out that there is a racial element to it – opioid drugs are mostly abused by white people, yet it leads to calls for treatment, not incarceration, while similar drug abuse by black people becomes a criminal offense.

What is a healthy response to the affliction of pain Americans feel in light of the majority of white people that are overdosing on prescription opioids, and the mass incarceration of nonviolent black drug offenders?

Obviously, it is multifaceted, including changes in public health policy and spending, workplace expectations and conditions, cultural attitudes towards drug abuse and treatment, and the inherent racism and white privilege in our society.

One spiritual response that has been most meaningful to me these days is that of lament.

The deadly intersection of opioids, lonliness, and racism stirs up a dark cloud of oppression. The more I see it and the effects it has on our nation, the more sorrowful and despairing I become.

The temptation is to deny what I see. I also feel a strong compulsion to do something about it. But what?

That is where the spiritual practice of lament comes into play. It’s the work of trying to see society as it really is, in it’s beauty and horror, it’s truth and lies, the justice and criminality, the love and the hatred.

As Pastor Daniel Hill writes in White Awake: An Honest Look at What it Means to Be White, “To be a white person in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a state of lament almost all the time” (158).

Instead of burying the pain of life, of loneliness, of injustice, or glossing over the abuse of opioids and other drugs, lament allows us to face it, name it, engage it – not alone, but within a community of hope, grace, and truth.

What many are learning is that the practice of lament is a healthy, yet difficult way forward. Hill shares that lament “…is a beautiful and needed resource because it has a unique way of remaining awake to sorrow without succumbing to it. Lament allows us to grieve injustice but not fall into despair. We can be awake to the pain of the world but still press forward in faith because of another beautiful word at the center of the gospel: hope” (158).

February is Black History Month. It’s an invitation to remember, reflect, and learn more about the lives of black people in America from black people in America. This is a timely season to learn from our black brothers and sisters on ways to face pain and poverty, to overcome loneliness and rejection, and deal with grief and death.

The list of books by black writers I’ve listed below are about Christianity, American culture, racism, theology, the church, society, horror, and hope. Most of these authors have been recommended to me by others, so I’d love to hear from you which black writers you are spending time reading.

These are books that I have read, started to read, or am in the middle of reading:

Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.Strength to Love, Letter from a Birmingham Jail, A Testament Of Hope.

Ida B. WellsSouthern Horrors: Lynch Law in All It’s Phases

Fredrick DouglassMy Bondage and My Freedom, Narrative of the Life of Fredrick Douglass

Bryan StevensonJust Mercy

Maya AngelouWouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey Now

John PerkinsMaking Neighborhoods Whole

Ibram KendiStamped From the Beginning

Ta-Nehisi CoatesBetween The World and Me

Eddie GlaudeDemocracy in Black

Cornel WestRace Matters, Prophesy Deliverance! The Cornel West Reader

W. E. B. DuBoisThe Souls of Black Folk

Alex HaleyRoots

Brian Bantum – The Death of Race

James Cone – God of the Oppressed


Reading is one way forward to get educated. Conversation with people of color is better. Listening is best. Honest, humble, courageous, patient, being still, absorbing the stories, connecting to the pain in others, and learning how together find a merciful way forward.

Leading For Good, For All

Your influence is your leadership.

For a community and organization to forsee and flourish, people must use their influence for the common good or what our founders referred to as the Commonwealth.

That means character and integrity must be evidenced every day, along with accountability and friendship, since no one can be successful alone.

There must be a spiritual center to the common good- we are not just thoughts and actions, we need a power greater than ourselves to guide, convict, and compel us to do what is good, true, beautiful and just for all.

The following Psalm was part of the Scripture for the lectionary reading this morning:

“But they flattered the LORD with their mouths;
they lied to him with their tongues.
Their heart was not steadfast towards him;
they were not true to his covenant.
Yet God, being compassionate,
forgave their iniquity,
and did not destroy them;
often he restrained his anger,
and did not stir up all his wrath.
He remembered that they were but flesh,
a wind that passes and does not come again.”
[Psalm 78.36-39, NRSV]

Psalm 78 is a poetic summary of the turbulent relationship between God and the leaders of Israel. It highlights God’s faithfulness to them and their inconsistent loyalty. It’s a vulnerable song, laying open the reality of being God’s people.

God has to put up with leaders who don’t trust him, who profoundly wrong one another, and bring shame on his name – and yet God has bound himself to his people and must find ways to care for and correct them, to reprimand and transform them.

People follow leaders. God works through leaders.  I look up to leaders who help me look up to God. It’s so painful when the leaders I looked up to who helped me look up to God were also at the same time looking down on other people and taking advantage of them in despicable ways.

The psalm puts in perspective the stories that continue to emerge of abuse by Christian leaders towards women, children, other men, the church, and the world.

While this news is “old news” in that abuse and sin has always been part of humanity, America and the Christian religion, it also highlights the need for “good news” – the leadership of Christ Jesus the Lord.

Through his example and Spirit, Christ convicts a society and people of sin, humbles us to repentance and fosters transformation towards loving kindness in all things.

It’s disillusioning to hear of Christian leaders who hurt those they serve.

Especially when it is influential American Evangelical Church pastors. It’s not just “those Christians” who do terrible things, it’s now my tribe, my role models, the pastor that deeply shaped how I think about and do ministry with the church.

This renews my resolve to treat everyone with dignity, to not abuse anyone, and faithfully follow the Lord. But it also makes me question myself and to be brutally honest about “but for the grace of God, it could have been me.”

Like the psalmist recalls, it is easy to flatter God and others while ruminating and planning dark things. No one is righteous, everyone has sinned, which is why lament and repentance are essential to the Christian community.

We lie to God and ourselves when we insist on how good we are while glossing over what is wrong with our culture, our thoughts, and actions. Sometimes it takes death and brokenness to open our eyes to the sins we’ve committed and been blind to. 

It’s not just a matter of will-power to resist the temptation to lust, greed, gluttony, pride, and envy. It’s not just a mind and body struggle, but also a spiritual struggle with power.

The more influence one accumulates, the more checks and balances, the more accountability and friendship is needed to support spiritual practices so that you and those you influence become more humble and kind, wise and just in your dealings with everyone.

Staying attuned to the presence of Christ in all places and times is central to it. The sacrificial, generous, wise, courageous, patient and compassionate leadership of Jesus can be real within us, and through us.

Lead for good, for all.