Tag: Reconciliation

On Doing Good To Everyone – Even Those No Longer With You

If you’ve downloaded the free YouVersion.com Bible app onto your phone, Galatians 6:10 was the verse today, and depending on your settings, the image above would have showed up on your home screen. (If you’ve not downloaded the app, or set it to show you a verse each day, try it – I think you’ll find great value in it).

I appreciated reading the verse this morning, I agreed with it in my head, but then I thought about how tired my heart feels, and got a little anxious as I drove to work about how much good I might need to give out today.

It made me think of what other people are going through that is even more painful and exhausting than my current circumstances. Grief and regret, guilt and shame, disappointments and doubts – they are part of my life, maybe yours, and most everyone else. They can undermine our resolve to do good, sap our energy, distort our vision of the future.

But pain and suffering can also connect us. If we will abide in love.

As you contemplate the grief and regrets in your life, consider these writings on love, on doing good, on abiding and being present – with those still with you in body, and those with you only in memory. They continue to be a source of wisdom and healing for me, may they be good for your soul too:

The one who truly loves never falls away from love.

He can never reach the breaking point. Yet, is it always possible to prevent a break in a relationship between two persons, especially when the other has given up? One would certainly not think so. Is not one of the two enough to break the relationship?

In a certain sense it is so. But if the one who loves is determined to not fall away from love, she can prevent the break, she can perform this miracle; for if she perseveres, a total break can never really come to be.

By abiding, the one who loves transcends the power of the past. We transform the break into a possible new relationship, a future possibility.

The one who loves that abides belongs to the future, to the eternal. From the angle of the future, the break is not really a break, but rather a possibility. But the powers of the eternal are needed for this. The one who loves must abide in love, otherwise the heartache of the past still has the power to keep alive the break.

The whole thing depends upon how the relationship is regarded, and the one who loves- she abides.

Can anyone determine how long a silence must be in order to say, “Now there is no more conversation”?

Put the past out of the way; drown it in the forgiveness of the eternal by abiding in love. Then the end is the beginning and there is no break!

But the one who loves abides. “I will abide,” he says. “Therefore we are still on the path of life together.” And is this not so?

What marvelous strength love has! The most powerful word that has ever been said, God’s creative word, is: “Be.” But the most powerful word any human being has ever said is, “I abide.”

Reconciled to himself and to his conscience, the one who loves goes without defense into the most dangerous battle. She only says: “I abide.” But she will conquer, conquer by her abiding.

There is no misunderstanding that cannot be conquered by our abiding, no hate that can ultimately hold up to our abiding – in eternity if not sooner. If time cannot, at least the eternal shall wrench away the other’s hate.

Yes, the eternal will open our eyes for love. In this way love never fails – it abides.

May these curing words of Kierkegaard impart a fresh perspective on the breaches of love in your life.

As you grieve and mourn the endings in your life, may you learn to abide in love.

We may not get to choose our death day, but we do get to choose to do good to everyone with all of the days we have left.

Reclaim Your Kitchen Table

Most of my favorite memories growing up occurred around our kitchen table. I’m deeply thankful for the fun we had most evenings during our family dinner. We enjoyed hearing how the day went for the six of us (sometimes seven or eight…). As we got older, my brothers would time the punchline to their jokes just as I slurped some soup into my mouth. Supper got disgusting at times….

It’s almost become an epidemic – our lives getting so busy, our budgets (and pants…) getting so tight, our homes getting so hurried that we don’t make time for dinner each night for family and friends. It probably sounds quaint, old-fashioned, and plainly unrealistic for many people. But: what if…what if you reclaimed your kitchen table….

Studies show that families that put in the work to rearrange schedules in order to prepare dinner together around five nights a week tend to build more resilience and happiness into their lives. There is something powerful about supper with others at home. When it’s with people who care for each other, a meal together is healing, uniting, almost sacred. It’s a form of what we call communion.

We see this in a story of Jesus and Levi the tax-collector, from the gospel according to Mark. A little background first: In the Ancient Near East of the Mediterranean world, to share a meal was to welcome them as ones you trust, it conferred dignity and signified they were under your protection. It was a sacred duty to extend hospitality to family, friends, and especially strangers. Hospitality around the table was also the key to turning enemies into loved ones.

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In this story, Jesus saw a fellow Jew named Levi overseeing a Roman Imperial tax collection booth. This made Levi a traitor in the eyes of his neighbors. But Jesus loves surprises, and he loves to turn enemies into friends, so he invites Levi to “Follow me.” What do you know, but “Levi got up and followed him.”

The next line in the story is fascinating: “While Jesus was having dinner at Levi’s house, many tax collectors and sinners were eating with him and his disciples, for there were many who followed him.” Levi threw a dinner of thankfulness to Jesus, one that he invited his friends to. This is what we call communion – people coming together with Jesus. Or you can call it Eucharist, because it is marked by joy and gratitude.

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The reconciled companionship that began to emerge between Jesus and the sinners drew a protest from the purity-focused Pharisees. They saw how significant this table-sharing was, and the transformation that was occurring. They asked Jesus’ disciples, “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?” Jesus’ reply? “It’s not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Salvation through suppertime!

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Reclaim your kitchen table. It’s okay to rework your schedule to do dinner with friends. You have permission to not isolate yourself because of your busyness. The slowing down that comes from cutting up veggies or stirring up the salad can make space for being present with each other. It’s not about the food! A simple dinner prepared with love sets the tone for the hoped-for conversation. This is why holiday meals come loaded with expectations, and are rife with disappointments. We hope to have once or twice a year what we don’t practice regularly on any given week.

Levi opened up his table to Jesus as a way to say thanks. Jesus joined Levi at his table as a way for communion to flourish. What are the ways you could reclaim gratitude around your kitchen table? What if you could reclaim communion in your home through regular dinner times?

What keeps you from simple meals at the kitchen table with family and friends? What would it take to make it a regular part of your life? What doubts do you have about whether it would make a difference in your life? What do you have to lose by trying it? What do you have to gain?

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Here’s a fun example from “Meet the Parents” of dinner bringing people together…