Why Trying To Be A Good Person Is Bad For You

I’ve always tried to be a good person. I’m a pleaser, so often my attempts to do good are driven by my desire to make others happy. I certainly try to be a good person as a way to love God and love my family and friends.  I like trying to be a good person.

But if I’m honest, trying to be good can sometimes be bad for me and my community. How?

In my effort to be a good person, and to appear as a good person, guess what typically happens? Yes, that’s correct: lots and lots of denial, rationalizing, defensiveness, and well intentioned but maybe naive help.

My desire to be good can undermine my acceptance of the not-good within me or coming from me.

In one of the stories that Mark tells about Jesus, the religious lawyers confronted him about why his disciples ate with unwashed hands. Jesus, it seemed to them, was okay with lawbreaking. He, however, turned their questions around on them, accusing them of hypocrisy.

It’s ironic, since the Pharisees and religious lawyers were so committed to being good people and devout followers of Israel’s God. So how was it that in their attempts to be good they were bad?

In the teachings of Moses God makes it clear that people are to honor their parents, especially in their old age – and this includes caring for them financially and being a blessing to them (instead of being a negligent or abusive curse).

But the Pharisees had found a way to designate their finances and time to God as a way to both look pious and avoid the expense and difficulty of caring for their aging parents. They found a way to avoid keeping  commands of God by coming up with a way to be devoted to God.

In this case, their attempts to be good people was bad for their parents.

Jesus then goes on to make a bigger point about unclean hands and being good people. He was accused of defiling his body by eating with unwashed hands. But Jesus points out that it’s not what goes in that defiles the body, but what comes out. Don’t worry about the food that goes in to the stomach, pay attention to what comes out of your heart.

This is provocative stuff. Jesus describes twelve inter-connected evils that are already in our heart: immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, pride, and folly.

My first instinct, and probably yours too is to scan the list and see which ones apply. As an act of humility we might pick a few we all struggle with. But this is where our addiction to being good corrupts our judgment. Jesus is saying that all of these evil thoughts are in our hearts.

And if we’re always looking for ways we’re not guilty of them, we’ll be blind to the ways we are guilty. And if we’re never convicted, there’s nothing to confess and repent.

Everyone agrees Jesus was a good man. So how was it that Jesus was crucified for being seditious (a law-breaker and a political threat) and for blasphemy (slandering against God). He was put to death by men and women who thought of themselves as good people seeking to be devout followers of God.

The irony? In trying to be good and devout people they killed God.

Hypocrisy is undermined by humility. It takes humility to confess the evil thoughts within our heart. It takes humility to hear from others how we have wronged them, even though we thought we were doing the right thing.

Being good can become a vague assertion that can prevents us from being honest and humble about the bad that is really in us. And that’s bad for us.

Who then can be good? Only God is good. The rest of us, well, maybe we should give up on trying to be good and work to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God.

This is, ironically, what Jesus strives for us to become and do.

Prepare The Way

Everything is preparation. 

But for what? 

Everything is preparation for the future. Everything is seemingly meaningless if there isn’t a future hope you are keeping your eyes on. A future hope helps put the past – the pains, the failures, the disappointments – in perspective.

But even a future hope is kind of vague. For Christians, that future has a name, the future is grounded in a person, that future is becoming present through the presence and work of Christ Jesus. 

So for Christians, we can believe that everything that happens to us now is preparation for the future – maybe for tomorrow, maybe for next year, maybe for something Christ is working on in three decades that he needs us to do.

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We get this kind of perspective in the opening lines of the Gospel According to Mark:

The beginning of the good news about Jesus the Christ, the Son of God, as it is written in Isaiah the Prophet:

“I will send my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your way” –

” …a voice of one calling in the wilderness, ‘Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him.'”

John the Baptist was born before Jesus in order to be the messenger who went ahead of his cousin to announce the good news of his arrival as the anointed deliverer of Israel and their long awaited King. John is the one appointed to prepare the way for Jesus. For thirty years John lived with this mission, knowing that someday his moment would come. As a young man he sojourned into the wilderness as part of his preparation. It was there that he began his ministry.

What about you? What are your future hopes? What are the tough things you are going through now that could be prepration for something in the future?

More importantly: what might God be wanting to send you to do as a way to prepare others for the arrival of Christ Jesus in their life? How might what you are going through now be preperation for that future work of Jesus becoming real to someone important in your life? 

It’s important to know that John didn’t know how everything is going to play out. Jesus had to give repeated instructions to John about what was going on, what was going to happen, and why. John had his doubts, and so do we – especially when times get really difficult.

The medium is the message. 

It wasn’t just the words that John was preaching about repentance for the forgiveness of sins, it was John’s life, him as a person embodying this message that added power to his words.

Repentance is about change, about returning, about new possibilities.

grace-repentance

John was in the wilderness re-enacting the story of Moses, preparing the people of Israel to re-enter the Promised Land as a cleansed, made-holy, recommited kind of people of God. Everybody came to see John to be baptized – they were so sick and tired of the corruption and evil – they wanted to see a change, they wanted to see God rule the land again – and that starts with a people being changed by letting God be king of their hearts, mind, body and soul.

You embody a message. You are a message. You are a message of hope (or despair), of repentance and forgiveness (or embittering grudges), of restoration and reconciliation (or envy and hate).

God sent John ahead of Jesus into Israel to prepare the people for the Christ (anointed one) to deliver them from their sins and sow seeds of shalom (peace). John preached a message of repentance for the forgiveness of sins and renewal of allegiance to God.

God is wanting to send you ahead of Jesus into the world to embody the message of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. When you repent of your sins, when you receive and extend forgiveness, when you sow seeds of peace and reconciliation, you are not only preparing people for the presence of Christ, you are embodying and extending the presence and work of Christ himself.

John begain his ministry on his own, but eventually formed a community from which he continued his ministry of preaching and baptising, of teaching the people how to repent, forgive, and start their lives over again in God. The same goes for us: whatever God calls us to do, wherever and to whomever he wants to send us, it will need to be in community. The gospel is embodied best by community. cropped-Community-Service-YUSA-Pic.jpg

How might your perspective change on your present pain in light of the preparation God might be bringing you through in order to extend the healing and reconciling work of Christ to others in the future?

Who has God laid on your heart? What if some of the tough things you are going through now are preparation for what Christ wants to do through you for them?

If the medium is the message – and everything is prepration for embodying the message of the gospel – what kind of work do you know God needs to do in you now so that others can more clearly hear the good news of Christ through your words and works?