What are you waiting for?
I’ve been waiting fifteen years for my tiny magnolia tree to finally have many beautiful blooms!
Whether it’s our heart’s deepest desires or merely life’s little blessings, what are you waiting for to happen?
Surely it’s obvious our culture has ruined waiting.
Yet here we are, mired in irritating impatience at the impossibly unsolvable situations with no real resources for how to wait.
Waiting sounds weak.
It sounds like you are being passive, lazy, apathetic, indifferent, giving up.
But then considering how many people are tired of being so busy, who feel guilty taking a break, who are being worn down by the incessant demands of work and family and community, etc…
How is waiting a viable option in the face of the evil injustices that plague our world, the sins we commit against each other, and the uncorrected mistakes which exponentially increase unpleasant experiences?
Sure, there is certainly a level of urgency that is required for the crises that come up in our life. It’s just that now there always seems to be a chronic crisis in some part of our life such that we are always “on” to solve, fix, address, stop, improve, restore, etc.
The heart of my ministry in the YMCA is premised on strengthening the presence of Christ in our branches and association with our staff and members.
These past seven years have been an ongoing experiment in how to practically do this, how to explain and invite others into being the presence of Christ in the YMCA.
My doctoral dissertation was rooted in this work, out of all that I learned, the most transformative is the trust that Christ Jesus is already fully present in the Y, already and always at work in the life of each individual, fulfilling the promises made “to be with us always until the very end.”
This posture does a couple of things for me: it encourages me – Christ is alive and at work! Whew!
It inspires me with curiosity- I wonder what Jesus is up to today. I wonder what he wants me to see today, and what he wants me to do with what I see.
It fuels confidence and courage: since Jesus cares for all even more than I do (way, way, way more…), I’m already open to how I might be the heart and hands, ears, and tears of Christ to someone – which takes courage to be vulnerable, open, real, and present.
Like anyone else I get busy with stuff, I can end up avoiding people and conflicts and focus on stuff where I can feel high-control, productive, and drama-free.
But what I consider the best days are when amidst whatever is going on that day, whether a long to-do list, back to back to back meetings or complex problems to solve yesterday, underneath it all, through it all is waiting, a readiness, an openness that in every personal encounter I experience there is an attentiveness to what Christ is doing and the invitation on how to participate.
At one level it might just look like being a nice person all day. Of being patient and kind to everyone. Of being caring, honest, respectful and responsible. But then I think we are all quite aware of how this all both seems in short supply these days AND how much effort we individually have to put into being loving ESPECIALLY when we are tired, frustrated, and annoyed at others in the room.
No one ever really can know the work you put into showing up with compassion and diligence. They just know when you don’t.
For Christians in the YMCA we have within us and always around us the real living presence of Jesus to guide us, sustain us, and lead us forward towards what is good, true, just, and beautiful.
It’s not always apparent – usually big decisions get boiled down to budgets, expediency, or strong personalities.
In those meetings, if we can be aware and attentive enough, we can be waiting for the Same Spirit of God that was upon/with Jesus to be upon/with us.
In the mornings we can wait as a way to start the day, purposefully carving out space in our schedules to be still, silent, in solidarity with Jesus and his Word for us, his Will for the moment, his Warmth: it’s all going to be okay.
In the afternoons we can wait. In the evening. As we tuck ourselves into bed.
Waiting becomes a posture, an attitude, a perspective, a form of trust: is God here, is God doing anything, is God going to come through for me, is God good?
We mostly know what life can be like when we are not waiting on God. Or if we do ever wait on God, we know what it’s like to do so impatiently, irritated, angry, frustrated, hurt, feeling abandoned and betrayed.
Jesus had difficulty waiting on God in the Garden of Gethsemane on the night he was handed over to be crucified for trumped up crimes. There were tears of blood as he prayed in silence and solitude, alone in the dark.
What are you waiting for God to do?
Could be a lot of things. Probably mostly big things. Maybe some little things too.
Waiting is not easy. Especially in our culture addicted to busyness and convenience, to immediate satisfaction and next-day delivery.
Waiting is a spiritual practice to be practiced, cultivated, attended to, prayerfully engaged, desired, wanted, courageously embraced.
Waiting is not for the weak-willed and thin-skinned.
What is waiting? I’m still learning. These days I’m reading and meditating and being mentored by Christian leaders such as Kierkegaard and Barth, by Ruth Haley Barton and Henri Nouwen, by Andrew Root and Hannah Arendt, Simone Weil and Albert Camus, St Augustine and St Paul. And others. So much to learn from those who have waited before us, who have wisdom to share with us, who waited amidst greater suffering, maybe more doubt, yet they too learned to wait.
What am I waiting for? What am I waiting for God to do for me, with me, to me, through me.
I used to have lots of preferences and aspirations, hopes and fears that fueled what I wanted God to do. As one gets older and life plays itself out, resignation and despair can creep in, cynicism and grief can harden the heart.
But since I was a teenager I’ve always prayed for wisdom and to be full of the Holy Spirit. To be honest, I feel like I’m still waiting on God to answer that prayer.
And there are other personal and professional aspirations I am waiting for God to address, do something about, fix, heal, bless, etc.
But my waiting on God in all of this is not passive. Nor frantic. It doesn’t need to be stoic or anxious. It can be a way of participatory readiness, doing what seems to be good, true, just, and beautiful while also always cultivating attentiveness to a prompting of the Lord to go, do, say, be, and love.
So much more could be said, so I will close with this encouragement to the YMCA and the Church: it’s all about being with people, that is our “why” so go patiently and kindly be with the real people in your midst (real annoying, real stupid, real genius, real amazing, etc).
As you go be with all the people you find yourself surrounded by or sent to, put into practice all that Jesus has taught you about his way of being in the world.
Always be open and ready with whoever you are with to what new and beautiful and refreshing act of transformation God might be cultivating, the waiting is part of your transformation, which prepares you for nourishing it ever so gently and grace-fully in others.
Do all of this in trust of our good Father, the Son who saves and heals and rescues, and the Same Spirit through which we can bear fruit like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and temperance.
And for those who will wait and trust, you will end up being the heart and hands, the ears and tears of Jesus who is always with us to the very end.
