Tag: Suffering

What Are You Waiting For?

But my waiting on God in all of this is not passive. Nor frantic. It doesn’t need to be stoic or anxious. It can be a way of participatory readiness, doing what seems to be good, true, just and beautiful while also always cultivating attentiveness to a prompting of the Lord to go, do, say, be, love.

What are you waiting for?

I’ve been waiting fifteen years for my tiny magnolia tree to finally have many beautiful blooms!

Whether it’s our heart’s deepest desires or merely life’s little blessings, what are you waiting for to happen?

Surely it’s obvious our culture has ruined waiting.

Yet here we are, mired in irritating impatience at the impossibly unsolvable situations with no real resources for how to wait.

Waiting sounds weak.

It sounds like you are being passive, lazy, apathetic, indifferent, giving up.

But then considering how many people are tired of being so busy, who feel guilty taking a break, who are being worn down by the incessant demands of work and family and community, etc…

How is waiting a viable option in the face of the evil injustices that plague our world, the sins we commit against each other, and the uncorrected mistakes which exponentially increase unpleasant experiences?

Sure, there is certainly a level of urgency that is required for the crises that come up in our life. It’s just that now there always seems to be a chronic crisis in some part of our life such that we are always “on” to solve, fix, address, stop, improve, restore, etc.

The heart of my ministry in the YMCA is premised on strengthening the presence of Christ in our branches and association with our staff and members.

These past seven years have been an ongoing experiment in how to practically do this, how to explain and invite others into being the presence of Christ in the YMCA.

My doctoral dissertation was rooted in this work, out of all that I learned, the most transformative is the trust that Christ Jesus is already fully present in the Y, already and always at work in the life of each individual, fulfilling the promises made “to be with us always until the very end.”

This posture does a couple of things for me: it encourages me – Christ is alive and at work! Whew!

It inspires me with curiosity- I wonder what Jesus is up to today. I wonder what he wants me to see today, and what he wants me to do with what I see.

It fuels confidence and courage: since Jesus cares for all even more than I do (way, way, way more…), I’m already open to how I might be the heart and hands, ears, and tears of Christ to someone – which takes courage to be vulnerable, open, real, and present.

Like anyone else I get busy with stuff, I can end up avoiding people and conflicts and focus on stuff where I can feel high-control, productive, and drama-free.

But what I consider the best days are when amidst whatever is going on that day, whether a long to-do list, back to back to back meetings or complex problems to solve yesterday, underneath it all, through it all is waiting, a readiness, an openness that in every personal encounter I experience there is an attentiveness to what Christ is doing and the invitation on how to participate.

At one level it might just look like being a nice person all day. Of being patient and kind to everyone. Of being caring, honest, respectful and responsible. But then I think we are all quite aware of how this all both seems in short supply these days AND how much effort we individually have to put into being loving ESPECIALLY when we are tired, frustrated, and annoyed at others in the room.

No one ever really can know the work you put into showing up with compassion and diligence. They just know when you don’t.

For Christians in the YMCA we have within us and always around us the real living presence of Jesus to guide us, sustain us, and lead us forward towards what is good, true, just, and beautiful.

It’s not always apparent – usually big decisions get boiled down to budgets, expediency, or strong personalities.

In those meetings, if we can be aware and attentive enough, we can be waiting for the Same Spirit of God that was upon/with Jesus to be upon/with us.

In the mornings we can wait as a way to start the day, purposefully carving out space in our schedules to be still, silent, in solidarity with Jesus and his Word for us, his Will for the moment, his Warmth: it’s all going to be okay.

In the afternoons we can wait. In the evening. As we tuck ourselves into bed.

Waiting becomes a posture, an attitude, a perspective, a form of trust: is God here, is God doing anything, is God going to come through for me, is God good?

We mostly know what life can be like when we are not waiting on God. Or if we do ever wait on God, we know what it’s like to do so impatiently, irritated, angry, frustrated, hurt, feeling abandoned and betrayed.

Jesus had difficulty waiting on God in the Garden of Gethsemane on the night he was handed over to be crucified for trumped up crimes. There were tears of blood as he prayed in silence and solitude, alone in the dark.

What are you waiting for God to do?

Could be a lot of things. Probably mostly big things. Maybe some little things too.

Waiting is not easy. Especially in our culture addicted to busyness and convenience, to immediate satisfaction and next-day delivery.

Waiting is a spiritual practice to be practiced, cultivated, attended to, prayerfully engaged, desired, wanted, courageously embraced.

Waiting is not for the weak-willed and thin-skinned.

What is waiting? I’m still learning. These days I’m reading and meditating and being mentored by Christian leaders such as Kierkegaard and Barth, by Ruth Haley Barton and Henri Nouwen, by Andrew Root and Hannah Arendt, Simone Weil and Albert Camus, St Augustine and St Paul. And others. So much to learn from those who have waited before us, who have wisdom to share with us, who waited amidst greater suffering, maybe more doubt, yet they too learned to wait.

What am I waiting for? What am I waiting for God to do for me, with me, to me, through me.

I used to have lots of preferences and aspirations, hopes and fears that fueled what I wanted God to do. As one gets older and life plays itself out, resignation and despair can creep in, cynicism and grief can harden the heart.

But since I was a teenager I’ve always prayed for wisdom and to be full of the Holy Spirit. To be honest, I feel like I’m still waiting on God to answer that prayer.

And there are other personal and professional aspirations I am waiting for God to address, do something about, fix, heal, bless, etc.

But my waiting on God in all of this is not passive. Nor frantic. It doesn’t need to be stoic or anxious. It can be a way of participatory readiness, doing what seems to be good, true, just, and beautiful while also always cultivating attentiveness to a prompting of the Lord to go, do, say, be, and love.

So much more could be said, so I will close with this encouragement to the YMCA and the Church: it’s all about being with people, that is our “why” so go patiently and kindly be with the real people in your midst (real annoying, real stupid, real genius, real amazing, etc).

As you go be with all the people you find yourself surrounded by or sent to, put into practice all that Jesus has taught you about his way of being in the world.

Always be open and ready with whoever you are with to what new and beautiful and refreshing act of transformation God might be cultivating, the waiting is part of your transformation, which prepares you for nourishing it ever so gently and grace-fully in others.

Do all of this in trust of our good Father, the Son who saves and heals and rescues, and the Same Spirit through which we can bear fruit like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and temperance.

And for those who will wait and trust, you will end up being the heart and hands, the ears and tears of Jesus who is always with us to the very end.

So what are you waiting for!

sorrow everywhere [ymca meditation on ash wednesday]

The YMCA was born in shadows and darkness, amidst bleak human misery, fueled by the courageous Christian faith of George Williams and his friends to pray for his fellow factory workers by name, all drowning in the ash-drenched despair of 1840’s sooty industrial London.

Today in my part of the world it is grey, bleak, chilly and sopping wet; perfect for lamenting on this Ash Wednesday.

Christians around the world today in their church or YMCA are choosing to pray, confess and repent of their iniquities, forgive those who sin against them, and maybe have the sign of the cross smudged on their forehead.

It’s a day of sorrow, of humility, of vulnerability and raw honesty. 

We get to choose what we do with this day, we get to choose what to do with everyday, but it does seem to me that most people struggle with what to do with the sorrow that is everywhere, the grief and sadness that smudges each day. 

Of all days, this is one to be melancholy, to be pensive, maybe even just plain depressed. 

Everywhere I look is sorrow: sorrow in Ukraine, sorrow in Palestine, sorrow in Turkey, sorrow in the USA, sorrow in our cities, sorrow in our schools, sorrows in our YMCA, sorrow in our families, sorrows in our souls; there’s sorrow everywhere. 

East Jerusalem, view from the Mount of Olives cemetery

What are our choices? Numb ourselves to the pain of it? Ignore it? Avoid it? Be consumed by it? Rage against it? Succumb to it? To pay too close attention to reality is to be in perpetual lament. 

These are choices Jesus faced, whom we affectionately and in solidarity also name as The Man of Sorrows; he didn’t shy away, nor turn his back, but faced the pain, embraced it, even absorbed it, taking upon himself the pain-wrecking sins of the world.

This is why Paul Tillich writes about the virtue of courage precisely in the glaring face of death, of anxiety and grief, of seeming bleakness and meaninglessness; for Christians in our darkest hours we can see, if nothing else, the courage of Christ to trust God in the face of evil, injustice, and unrelenting sorrows.

The YMCA was born in darkness, amidst bleak human misery, fueled by the courageous Christian faith of George Williams and his friends to pray for his fellow factory workers by name, all drowning in the grueling despair of 1840’s industrial London. 

Whatever the future of the YMCA and our churches, it must include our courageous presence in the lives of men and women who suffer the industrial injustices of reality, whose souls are broken down by machines and efficient technology, whose hearts are darkened by grating grief and stewing resentments. 

What if you could have a day where you could just come clean before God?

Just lay it all out there, everything in your spirit, mind and body that is marred by shame and guilt, to let it go – as Christians we would say: to accept God’s forgiveness of our sins and in Christ Jesus be filled with His Spirit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control.

On Ash Wednesday, and on any day in the YMCA, we can choose to truly lament as well as muster up the courage to be present in sorrow everywhere – by the Spirit of the One who overcomes evil with good, who overcomes death through resurrection, who will one day wipe away every tear.

“And the God of all grace, who has called you to a resilient and glorious joy in Christ, after you have suffered (it won’t last forever), will personally restore you and make you strong, firmly able to withstand the storms.”

[adapted from 1Peter 5.10]

Click here for a song by Seacoast worship that’s meant a lot to me today, maybe it will for you too:

May the grace and peace of God be with you all, always.

Prayer In The Y.M.C.A. Paradoxes: Both/And/More Than?

Who are we these days and how to live up to our name in these complicated times? How can our Y movement fulfill our mission amidst the contentious complexities in our culture? Can we? Who believes it anymore? Who is praying for it still? Is there a way forward “that they all may be one”? Yes!

One of the contributions to the longevity and vitality of the Y is its ongoing embrace of Both/And/More Than.

In 1844 George Williams (age 22) and his 11 friends founded the Young Men’s Christian Association, a prayer movement for the conversion of souls, dignity in labor, and industry reform. (like Jesus & Zacchaeus in Luke 19:1-10)

It didn’t take long for these founders and leaders to innovate and adapt along the Both/And/More Than reality.

Eventually both young and old were welcomed into the movement, (George was active until his death…) both men and women, both Christian and non-Christian, both individuals who wanted to associate widely and narrowly.

Sir George Williams

And obviously it has always had some sense of More Than: it’s more than just young and old adults, but all of those in-between; nowadays it includes adults indentifying themselves with categories more than just men and women; for over a hundred years we’ve been including more than just Christians, but also Jews, Muslims, Hindu, Buddhist, Sikh, Secularist; and how people participate is more than just through wide or narrow associations, with many creative collaborations and participation opportunities.

By 1855 the Y.M.C.A. was an international cross-cultural Christian movement that needed to define some core beliefs and practices which allowed them to articulate a vibrant identity through which they could also expand their associations.

The Paris Basis is a genius expression of how the Christian men of the Y envisioned their diverse traditions working together fruitfully and harmoniously for the Kingdom of God in a rapidly changing and increasingly contentious century.

original draft copy of The Y.M.C.A. Paris Basis, 1855

The Y has always eventually embraced paradox: it exists within multiple cultures and draws creative strength from diverse traditions of its global leaders and communities.

Ironically, the more concious and concentrated it is on its core in the Paris Basis, the more purposely inclusive the Y can be amidst diversity. When the core identity gets thinly diluted instead of thickly enriched, the weaker the associations become and less benefits the inclusion brings. (Ask the EJY about this in Palestine.)

The current paradoxes in our YMCA mission can be a creative surge of innovation in our movement to thickly enrich our core identity, or we can fuel antagonisms which erode our core and thin or weaken what holds us all together.

In our mission it sometimes seems that “Christian principles” and “for all” are pitted against each other, especially the dimensions of diversity like “faith” and “sexual orientation” or “gender identity”.

YMCA lobby in KY

It also seems there is a split between “healthy spirit” and “healthy mind-body” – do they go together or not?

These two sets of paradoxes are good for the YMCA; they keep us energized and alert to the ways we strive to live out our values and how we also fall short of our promises. To point out failures, though, with a condescending and condemning spirit with no plan of redemption and friendship is neither Christian nor sustainable for our movement.

A purist mentality is ironically toxic, while a pluralist society can actually embody harmony.

Why? One is focused on vigilantly excluding toxins, which is a negative-oriented approach to existence based on prejudices, assumptions, and glossing over truths – the other is focused on awkwardly including differences and slowly embracing change, clumsily thickening their identity while lovingly becoming more concious of their adapting legacy and innovating traditions as they pursue truth.

It’s maybe too dramatic to declare the Y is at a crossroads, but with the violent upheavals surging through our cultures and environments, we’d be wise to more quickly embrace our paradoxes.

Ironically, let’s celebrate our clashing! Let’s also humbly insist on learning from our “antagonists” and commit to telling the true story of a Y.M.C.A. that has imperfectly endured, has elicited affection and generational gratitude in communities across the globe, has too many examples of falling short, yet continually (not without struggle) commits itself to confession and repentance, redemption and conciliation.

For Christians in the Y today, out of all the paradoxes we struggle to embrace, understand, and put into the practice, the most severe and compelling one is Jesus and his prayer in John 17:21. Either it’s a core guiding vision for the Y.M.C.A. or it is not.

old Y logo, Fort Wayne IN

If it is, then we have before us a disturbing paradox which both inspires and dejects us, empowers us yet exhausts us. What do I mean?

Well, is Jesus going to answer his own prayer for unity or not?

Is Jesus answering his prayer in our generation or not?

Do I like how Jesus is getting along with it? Do I have some serious concerns about Jesus’ tactics and strategy? Am I disappointed and frustrated with Jesus and his complicated and lengthy approach to answering his prayer?

Don’t say that you’re fine with Jesus, it’s his people you have a problem with. Jesus is the Head of the Body of Christ, he is with his people in spirit, mind and body – holding all things together and with us to The End.

And yes, this painfully heightens the frustrating paradox of the prayer “that they may all be one” and our trust in God’s Son that it will be answered.

paradox of the crucifixion of God’s anointed one…

To participate in the Kingdom of God and the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus-prayer for unity is to exist within a divinely difficult to grasp paradox that births: remarkable Faith and doubt, persevering Hope amidst despair, and transformative Love through our suffering. (see St. Paul’s prayer to his friends, 2 Thessalonians 1:2-4, 11-12)

This is the Young Men’s Christian Association at its best- since June 6, 1844, both courageously and humbly seeking to live out its name through more than 18 decades, both globally thickening its legacy and embracing the paradoxes in love, while being more than just an authentic guide for our tumultuous times but also as gentle imitators of the suffering Christ Jesus, as patient and faithful participants in his own proleptic prayer “that they all may be one.”