Most of my favorite memories growing up occurred around our kitchen table. I’m deeply thankful for the fun we had most evenings during our family dinner. We enjoyed hearing how the day went for the six of us (sometimes seven or eight…). As we got older, my brothers would time the punchline to their jokes just as I slurped some soup into my mouth. Supper got disgusting at times….
It’s almost become an epidemic – our lives getting so busy, our budgets (and pants…) getting so tight, our homes getting so hurried that we don’t make time for dinner each night for family and friends. It probably sounds quaint, old-fashioned, and plainly unrealistic for many people. But: what if…what if you reclaimed your kitchen table….
Studies show that families that put in the work to rearrange schedules in order to prepare dinner together around five nights a week tend to build more resilience and happiness into their lives. There is something powerful about supper with others at home. When it’s with people who care for each other, a meal together is healing, uniting, almost sacred. It’s a form of what we call communion.
We see this in a story of Jesus and Levi the tax-collector, from the gospel according to Mark. A little background first: In the Ancient Near East of the Mediterranean world, to share a meal was to welcome them as ones you trust, it conferred dignity and signified they were under your protection. It was a sacred duty to extend hospitality to family, friends, and especially strangers. Hospitality around the table was also the key to turning enemies into loved ones.
In this story, Jesus saw a fellow Jew named Levi overseeing a Roman Imperial tax collection booth. This made Levi a traitor in the eyes of his neighbors. But Jesus loves surprises, and he loves to turn enemies into friends, so he invites Levi to “Follow me.” What do you know, but “Levi got up and followed him.”
The next line in the story is fascinating: “While Jesus was having dinner at Levi’s house, many tax collectors and sinners were eating with him and his disciples, for there were many who followed him.” Levi threw a dinner of thankfulness to Jesus, one that he invited his friends to. This is what we call communion – people coming together with Jesus. Or you can call it Eucharist, because it is marked by joy and gratitude.
The reconciled companionship that began to emerge between Jesus and the sinners drew a protest from the purity-focused Pharisees. They saw how significant this table-sharing was, and the transformation that was occurring. They asked Jesus’ disciples, “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?” Jesus’ reply? “It’s not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Salvation through suppertime!
Reclaim your kitchen table. It’s okay to rework your schedule to do dinner with friends. You have permission to not isolate yourself because of your busyness. The slowing down that comes from cutting up veggies or stirring up the salad can make space for being present with each other. It’s not about the food! A simple dinner prepared with love sets the tone for the hoped-for conversation. This is why holiday meals come loaded with expectations, and are rife with disappointments. We hope to have once or twice a year what we don’t practice regularly on any given week.
Levi opened up his table to Jesus as a way to say thanks. Jesus joined Levi at his table as a way for communion to flourish. What are the ways you could reclaim gratitude around your kitchen table? What if you could reclaim communion in your home through regular dinner times?
What keeps you from simple meals at the kitchen table with family and friends? What would it take to make it a regular part of your life? What doubts do you have about whether it would make a difference in your life? What do you have to lose by trying it? What do you have to gain?
Here’s a fun example from “Meet the Parents” of dinner bringing people together…