The Art of Being with People You Lead

Every once in awhile I need to read through some aphorisms (short, pithy sayings that capture a truth in a memorable and insightful way).

Here’s some aphorisms that struck me as timely and relevant regarding leadership, being with people, the art of presence.

In my work with the YMCA, everything we do is for people, we are a busy action-oriented organization.

But in the grind of getting stuff done, we have to be more intentional and present to those we are doing the work with and for.

Love is action. Love is also patient and kind.

When we get drained from doing, being authentically present and genuinely attentive to those in our midst can fill up our tank, and theirs too.

There is an art to learning how to be with the people you lead: you are to be there for them more than they are there for you – it’s about them, not you as the leader.

These aphorisms on leadership, presence, kindness and faith have been with me for over fifteen years, and I share them with you now, some may be familiar, some new.

Enjoy!

Appreciation is a wonderful thing: it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.

Voltaire

We should ever conduct ourselves towards our enemies as if he were one day to be our friend.

Cardinal Newman

People are not motivated by failure; they are motivated by achievement and recognition.

F.F. Fournies

You can impress people from a distance. You can impact people only from up close.

Will Richert

You get more of the behavior you reward. You don’t get what you hope for, ask for, wish for, or beg for. You get what you reward.

Michel Le Boeuf

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

George S. Patton

I will pay more for the ability to deal with people than any other ability under the sun.

John D. Rockefeller

I hold it more important to have the player’s confidence than their affection.

Vince Lombardi

Leaders must be close enough to relate to others, but far enough ahead to motivate them.

John C. Maxwell

The art of dealing with people is the foremost secret of successful men. A man’s success in handling people is the very yardstick by which the outcome of his whole life’s work is measured.

Paul C. Packer

I’ll yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under the spirit of criticism.

Charles Schwab

There are no ordinary people.

You have never talked to an ordinary mortal….

It is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit – immortal horrors or everlasting splendors….

Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.

C.S. Lewis

*all quotes above taken from Never Scratch a Tiger with a Short Stick by Gordon S. Jackson

And some more quotes that I hold on to…

It is so hard to believe because it is so hard to obey.

Soren Kierkegaard

In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don’t.

Blaise Pascal

For many of us, the great danger is not that we will renounce our faith. It is that we will become so distracted and rushed and preoccupied that we will settle for a mediocre version of it.

John Ortberg

When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older I admire kind people.

Abraham J. Heschel

The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them but to be indifferent to them; that’s the essence of inhumanity.

George Bernard Shaw

Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

Scott Adams

If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.

Bishop Desmond Tutu

I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice.

Abraham Lincoln

Mercy, detached from justice, grows unmerciful.

C.S. Lewis